


Running out in the night

by chaoslaura



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Bobby is nice okay!, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Reggie has great friends, Swearing, Underage Drinking, here with my sad shit again, hot chocolate tries to kill Luke, it's 1994, pre death, slowly because they're oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoslaura/pseuds/chaoslaura
Summary: Reggie left home in a hurry, vision blurred from tears and the falling rain. There was only one place where he would feel safe right now. To his luck three special people were already there, ready to to brake his fall.Or, how Reggie and Luke realized their feelings for each other weren't exactly platonic, and after some up and downs, studying sessions, gigs, and cuddles, they finally admit what they hid so long.
Relationships: Alex & Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 287





	1. Tell me it's going to be alright

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, here I am again.  
> At this point I'm just venting and projecting my feelings on this guy. This pandemic is taking a toll on me slowly. 
> 
> But there will be a fluff fic coming soon, cause someone requested it on tumblr.
> 
> So have fun reading^^

Storming out the house without throwing a glance back, Reggie heard the door forcefully slam shut behind him. It didn't move a second time, indicating none of his parents were chasing after him. They were probably still in the kitchen, busy screaming at each other, but no one gave a fuck about him. No concern for his well being. Nothing. The only thing they cared about were their screaming matches from sunrise till dawn. Were that left their child? Who cares.

Of course it was raining, Reggie thought, already frustrated from the whole situation without the big drops of water hitting him. But no drama would be complete without pouring rain and thunder rolling in the background. 

The sky dark as night neared, the streets almost empty by now. Good for him, no one would spare him a glance and he was free to walk or more like run to the studio he and his band mates used, without raising suspicion. 

The studio was the unused garage from Bobby’s house so it was technically his parents but they were kind enough to leave it to them, relieved to get the noise out of the house. Meeting there almost every day for school work but most importantly band practice, brought them closer together more then they already were. Even Bobby who was one year older didn't act as closed off as before or annoyed at Lukes and Reggies antics. 

The way to the studio never seemed as long as tonight. Reggies legs were starting to hurt and his lungs protested from the cold air. Luckily his leather jacket had hung next to the door. His plaid wouldn't have protected him enough from the colder getting nights and the rain that was already running down his face. 

Maybe there were some left over tears mixed in between but no one could tell. Reggie didn't want to look into a mirror right now anyway, afraid of what he would find. Still feeling his fathers hand on his cheek, that stung more and more from the wind that caressed his face. 

Finally seeing the driveway to Bobbys house and the lights that illuminated the garden, he allowed himself to move slower. 

He expected the studio to be empty, considering the hour, he only left two or maybe three hours ago, thinking the others would follow suit. What he didn't expect was light pouring out the doors and hearing muffled chatter. Not knowing whether to be relived he wouldn't be alone right now or be afraid of his friends reactions, he hesitated, a hand settled on the door. 

Gathering the courage to open the door only a thunder roll later, he entered slowly, but the noises from the rain that was now getting in the room, raised the boys attention, looking to the entrance right away. So much for an inauspicious appearance. 

“Reggie?” Luke was the first to ask with his eyebrows already raised, sensing that something was not right.

Alex and him were sitting on the run down couch while Bobby was seated on the carpet in front with what seemed like homework in front of him. 

When Reggie wasn't answering nor coming closer, Alex took on the question. “Hey Reggie, what's going on? You forgot something? You could've called.” 

But Reggie didn't know what to say. His head was completely empty. No thoughts or ideas jumping from one to another as usual. 

With the warmth of the room seeping through, he could feel himself getting tired and exhaustion pulled at his limbs. Staggering to the couch, he just let himself fall besides Luke, without looking at them, giving his attention to the floor instead. His wet hair was falling over his face, overshadowing his eyes. 

“Come on, don't get the couch wet. It's already disgusting as it is.” Bobby said annoyed but with a slight smirk while moving his homework away when water started dripping on it. 

Luke ignored him and turned to face Reggie, trying to get a better look at him. “Reg?” He asked for the second time. “Can you look at me? What's going on? I suspect you walked through the rain for fun.” 

“I'm sorry.” Was all Reggie could press out. He wrapped his arms around him as the wet clothes became cold on his skin and stuck uncomfortable to it.

Alex was next to raise his voice. “Reggie you have nothing to be sorry for. Just tell us why you're here. You said you had a headache and wanted to go to bed. We thought you would already be asleep.”

Said headache was still pounding in his head, only amplified now by his parents screaming. Maybe that was the reason why he snapped this time. Normally an observer, intent on staying in the background, to hope they would end the argument themselves eventually. But today was like a switch was flipped inside of him, tired of merely being a puppet in his parents game, he stepped up and got his punishment handed to him immediately. Literally.

“I was in bed. But you know how it is. Too much background noise to sleep.”

The others sighed at that. Of course they knew. Wasn't hard to miss, even the few times they spend time at Reggies house. How he endured it day in day out they didn't know. 

“You can stay here tonight if you want, my parents won't mind.” Bobby offered, the wet couch comment already dismissed in favour of worrying for his friend.

“Yeah but first he needs some clothes.” Luke pointed out and Bobby was already on his way to his room to search for something that would fit Reggie. 

“Give me your jacket, I will hang it over there to dry off.” Alex held his hand out and Reggie complied, giving him his sacred piece of clothes. Luke was meanwhile digging through their stuff for a blanket. They should seriously tidy up some more, he thought, but that was a conversation for another time. Reggie was priority now. 

Bobby came back with comfy clothes and put them on the couch. “You can give me you clothes, mum can put them in the dryer and you're fresh to go tomorrow.” The offer sounded nice, very nice, considering him beginning to shiver. But Reggie didn't want to change. He knew what was lurking beneath the layers of clothes. 

“It's okay, I don't mind.” Is what he settled for, cautious to not let his discomfort shine through.

“Reg, you have to get out of this wet clothes or you will get sick. And then you can't practice and will complain about your cold all the time and I'm not ready to play nurse. I can't even heat up soup.” Leave it to Luke to make it about music and then about his absent cooking skills, but it made Reggie smile a bit, a small victory. 

But Alex wasn't pleased. “Really Luke? That's your concern? Not that something obviously happened? Reggie, I'm sorry but I know you're not telling us something. You guys always want me to be upfront with my anxiety with you so I expect the same.”

Alex was right, Reggie knew that deep down, but he wasn't ready in the slightest. But talking was not an option in the moment, what should he say anyway without burdening his friends further with his shit. Maybe it was enough to raise his head, he decided and followed through with it.

The other three drew in air at the sight, like Reggie expected but felt guilty nevertheless. He hated burdening his friends with his problems. For him the others came first obviously and he took the last place.

“Reggie...” Bobby started, who sat right in front of him with perfect view of his face. “Who- was it your dad?” He concluded correctly. He was too smart for his own good. But Reggie getting himself in a fight was just not believable, everyone knew how much he avoided conflicts, always playing the peacemaker.

Reggie just nodded, he couldn't look them in the eyes, shame was flooding him, heating his cheeks up, equalizing his right cheek with the left.

Alex was ready to engulf him in a hug when Luke raised a hand to stop him. A big concern was starting to raise in him. “Reggie, can you please take off your flannel? For me?”

“Luke, what-” Alex asked confused, locking eyes with Bobby who just pulled up his shoulders, also not knowing what Luke was getting at. Was now the time when his friend clearly needed a good embrace?

But Reggie knew apparently what Luke was hinting at. “Luke, please don't.”

“No, Reggie listen to me. Whatever he did, it was not your fault. We just want to make sure you're good, okay? Your father should feel guilty not you. So please, can you get off you clothes and let me see?” The speech did not let a good feeling settle in Alex and Bobby. 

Reggie didn't say anything else, it was clear to him Luke wouldn't let loose. And besides, those were his friends, what was he so afraid of? 

So he slipped off the sleeves and showed them his left arm. Alex was the first to reach for him with caution to inspect the hand print that was still visible on Reggies forearm. When his father grabbed him there harshly to drag him out the kitchen without concern how much it hurt his son, it left dark bruises in the shape of his hand before going back and picking up the argument where Reggie interrupted them. 

“Does it hurt much?” Bobby asked him directly, not really knowing what else to do. He was a bit overwhelmed with the whole situation if he was being honest. They shouldn't have to deal with this. Not that he minded caring for a friend, but this was just not right.

“No, it's okay.” But Luke didn't brought it. 

“Reggie, nothing is okay. If you could look at yourself you would see that it's the opposite of okay.”

“Luke, calm down, now is not the time.” Alex said, laying a hand on Lukes shoulder, in an attempt to ease his anger. But Luke wasn't finished yet.

“What Alex? You can see it too. How can you two be so calm about it? His dad hurt him. On purpose!”

“It wasn't on purpose.” Reggie tried to defend his father. Why on earth he would that, he didn't really know for himself. After tonight he definitely was fed up with his parents ignorant behaviour, but right know was no energy left for confrontation.

“Oh really? I'm sure his hand just slipped when he was reaching for the newspaper.” Luke snapped at him.

“Luke, quit it! One argument for the night is enough, don't you think?” Bobby said as calmly as he could while he saw the anxiety raising in Reggies eyes. Everyone knew Luke would defend his friends to the end of the world but his timing wasn't always the best. Impulsiveness getting the best of him. 

Luke already got an answer on the tip of his tongue but swallowed it back down when he took in Reggies shape, instantly filled with guilt. Bobby was right, right now was the worst time to raise his voice, what was he thinking. Oh right, how angry he was with Reggies parents to the point he started seething on his place on the couch. But for Reggies sake he tried to tame it down. 

Alex pulled the flannel completely off without any more complaints from Reggie, putting it where his jacket was already hanging. Getting Reggie in new warm clothes was easier now when there was nothing new to bring to light. Luke put the blanket gently around him and pulled him in the much needed hug, Bobby and Alex instantly joining in, hooking their arms around each other.

Reggie buried his head deep in the crook of Lukes neck, inhaling the familiar scent that lingered in the oversized shirt. It was probably just the washing detergent his mother used but it reminded Reggie of home. He could ponder of the why later. There should never be a lost opportunity for a group hug.

Thank god he was too exhausted to cry or he would embarrass himself even further. Being open about their emotions was a big factor in their friendship but Reggie just couldn't sometimes. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alex asked him on cue and Reggie just shook his head. Best method was to suppress and forget. Maybe someday he would be ready to talk about all the shit that made him angry or sad or just downright made himself feel empty. But today was not the day or rather the night. 

When he took in the surroundings after leaving Lukes embrace he noticed Bobby missing.

Alex followed his gaze. “He's gone inside. Suppose we could need some feel good snacks.” Which already filled Luke with anticipation. Where could that boy eat all that food up? It was a mystery and probably involved black magic so Reggie would rather not ask.

Bobby returned with a tray full of various things. “Mum made some hot chocolate for us.” He couldn't even finish the sentence before Luke sprung from his seat and raided the tray for a cup, only for instantly hissing at the heat that spread through his hand. 

“That's what you get for being greedy.” Alex was laughing at him without shame. Only Bobby gave him a quick sympathetic look before setting the tray on the couch table.

“Just wanted to test how safe it was for you guys.” Luke defended himself.

Alex scoffed at that. “Sure. Not that you're always the first to take a bite.”

“You never know when there's a zombie apocalypse and all the good food will be gone. Take what you can get.” 

“You just watch too many Zombie movies. It's not gonna happen so be a good friend and leave some for the rest of us.” Alex intention wasn't to sound that accusing but as the others always said he was the mother of their little friend group and it stuck. Alex wasn't entirely sure how he earned that position but it was better to be just the pretty one, he guessed. Not that he would give that title on anyone in the band. Uh uh definitely not.

With a warm drink in one hand and something to eat in the other the boys were content to just be in each others presence. 

It was definitely too late to start a jamming session and no one was in the mood anyways, not even Luke, which says much about the current situation. The mood was damped and they all sat quietly on the couch, munching on chips from time to time.

“We could watch some TV till mum complains about us not getting enough sleep.” Bobby proposed. It was met with unanimously enthusiasm.

“Maybe they're showing a re run of Xenia episodes.”

“Oh, Luke please, we don't wanna hear more about your crush.” Bobby smugly said and flung a pillow in Lukes direction, hitting him square in the face, earning a “hmpf” from him. 

Alex got a better idea, which involved diverting Reggies spiralling thoughts. “Yeah, maybe we find some Star trek or something.” Which made Reggie smile more. Star Wars? Yes. Star Trek? Also good. Just something playing out there in the universe. Far far away from the earth and even further away from his home. Just people fighting in space. With cool looking weapons. 

In the end they all stayed, even Bobby, who’s room was just a few metres away. But they all agreed to be there for Reggie, show him what family really means. Showing him that there were people who loved him for who he is. And if that involved sleeping on the ground and probably not getting a wink of good sleep, then that be it. 

Unfortunately, only two people fit on the couch and they played rock, paper, scissors to settle which one of them got the honour. Luke and Reggie were the winners, but not without some blushing on Lukes part, which made Alex a tad curious, who of course saw the light red flourishing on his face, on the contrary to Reggie who tried to make the couch sleep ready in the meantime. 

It was like a real sleepover like they did countless times as kids and even teenagers. Snacks, hot chocolate, random episodes of TV series till late at night and a mum who was fed up with the noises coming out of their rooms and the fact that they were still talking past midnight. It was like nothing had changed. One could forget or suppress how much _has _changed though. Getting older, having to take their education even more serious, parents not letting them off the hook that easily, more fights and complaints from their side. Tonight was not the night to think about all that. This thoughts came again with the sun rising but right now it was dark with just the flickering of the TV.__


	2. Delicious Cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys wanted it and you guys are getting it. This is the continuation and I don't know yet how many more chapters this story will get. Maybe around 2.  
> And I'm sorry it took so long. Uni started this week and it sucked the creativity and motivation out of me, so this is still partly a vent fic for me.   
> But have fun reading, as always :)

An incredible annoying peeping sound blared through the studio and when the boys managed to peel open their eyes, they saw Mrs. Wilson standing in the room with an alarm clock in her hand, which was obviously the source of said noise.

All four of them groaned at the way of rudely being woken up. Who would do this on a Saturday?

“Come on boys, it may be weekend but that is no reason for slacking off.” She said and finally took off again when she was sure everyone was at least halfway awake. Wherever she’s gone to, hopefully there will be breakfast, some of them thought.

“Is there a possibility we can go back to sleep, and she leaves us alone?” Luke grumbled from his place on the couch, not fully having realized yet who was pressed to his side and stolen the blanket over the course of the night. 

Bobby who was rubbing the sleep from his eyes gave him a disappointing answer. “No, when she sets her mind on something you have to get along with it, and she is no friend of sleeping in. When we don't show up in the next ten minutes she will come back with pans and pots and play her own music. Believe me, I already have that behind me.”

“ _That's _why you've never been late to school. And I thought you had hidden teleportation skills.“ Came Reggie’s rough morning voice from behind Luke along with a big yawn, almost hitting Luke in the face with one of his hands.__

__Luke was quick to dodge his clumsy friend and rolled off the couch, putting some space between him and Reggie before he did something dumb he would regret later. His brain wasn’t working on 100% in this early hour, but it mostly only did that when he was working on music, so maybe he was doomed from the start. But he could at least try to pull himself together. The space between door and couch should be enough, Luke thought as he was the first to be up and ready._ _

__“God, is food your biggest motivator? Why haven't you written a song about it yet?” Alex asked him from his place on the floor, his back cracking when he stretched, making him wince. They need a bigger couch. If only they could afford it._ _

__The gigs they played hadn't been enough to earn them money for demos, shirts, and extra equipment, it only sufficed for two out of three things._ _

__Bobby picked off the food idea. “Yes, something like 'Cheeseburger: My first great love' or 'Pizza, the hottest thing on earth'.”_ _

__“Very funny Bobby and Alex, very funny. But you should better hurry up or I will eat everything myself.” The others, not willing to test if Luke was joking or not, gathered up and run out behind him into the house. Bobby’s parents must have finished already, Mr. Wilson was nowhere to be seen and Mrs. Wilson was waiting in the kitchen, four plates were sat around the table._ _

__“Oh Reggie, before I forget, I laid your clothes in the hallway on the table by the phone. I hope it won't turn into a habit, you showing up here in the rain?” Mrs. Wilson greeted him in the kitchen with her smile that said, 'I'm a happy wife and mum'. It weirded him out a bit. No one was that happy all the time and people putting on a façade made Reggie anxious when he couldn’t decipher their emotions._ _

__So, he wasn't sure if she was just concerned for him or wanted to make sure he wouldn't become a freeloader or permanent guest in her household. Either way he hoped that could be prevented, not like he had a say in it. But maybe next time he would walk to Luke or Alex, if there was a need for. There shouldn't be a next time and Reggie didn't want to think about this becoming common, shoving his doubts deep down. Instead he thanked Mrs. Wilson however her commentary was to be interpreted._ _

__When he stepped into the kitchen, the boys were already seated.  
“Oh my god, I love Pancakes.” Luke pressed out, already having a full fork of said sweet dish stuffed in his mouth._ _

__Alex raised his eyebrows at the scene, regretting it to sit across of Luke, full view on him and his old love. “Uhm, you know there's something called chewing. You should try it if you don't want to die from pancakes because you're choking on those big chunks.”_ _

__“Could you imagine though? Dying from eating pancakes? I mean he would die while doing what he loves, embarrassing nevertheless.” Bobby chimed in, devouring his own pile._ _

__“Why do I have to die from it? Wouldn't you try to save me? What kind of friends are you?” Although he was complaining, he hadn't stopped gulping down his plate of pancakes and was the first to finish._ _

__Alex, seeing how Luke was eyeing his plate, moved it closer to himself. “Honestly, the way you always take the last piece and never ask if maybe we want it, is reason enough to let you die from it. At least for teaching you a lesson.”_ _

__With a shocked expression and a scoff, Luke’s mouth fell open. “A lesson? What would that accomplish if I’m dead. That I turn into ghost with manners?”_ _

__“Ha, so you do admit to having a lack of manners.” Bobby called him out, smug smile in his face._ _

__“Did you guys conspire against me last night? I’ve known I shouldn’t have fallen asleep first. But I thought the worst thing that could happen was waking up with dicks drawn on my face.” Luke was clearly not over the betrayal of his friends._ _

__Reggie was just observing them at this point, amused about the banter between his friends but he couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that dragged him down. It wasn’t the delicious pancakes the other three were fighting about, just a premonition what was yet to come. It wasn't exactly fear but he would rather sit in a car right now that Luke was driving instead of going home. And Luke’s driving skills were the worst, so that was saying something._ _

__He had to go home at one point though and he could think about maybe a hundred scenarios what could happen once he entered through the door. It was Saturday, meaning both his parents were at home. No need to get out to work or grocery shopping, or book clubs._ _

__Would they ignore him, would they address the elephant in the room, or pretend as if nothing happened and they were a normal family? Nonetheless, Reggie was tense and maybe he wasn't as nonchalant about it as he thought he was when Luke spoke up._ _

__“Don't worry, we're coming with you.”_ _

__Reggie perked up at the words. “What?” Did he hear right?_ _

__“We will walk you home.” Alex repeated. And what? They were willing to sacrifice the holy day of the week and waste their time to take the walk with him to his home, which wasn't the shortest from Bobby’s house, just to make sure he was good?_ _

__Beside the initial gratefulness for the friends he had, Reggie was a tad concerned what Luke would do if he saw his father._ _

__“Reg, I would walk you home every day after school just to make sure you're safe.” A hand on Reggie’s shoulder underlined how serious Luke was about it and all he could do was stare into the pair of eyes opposite of him, thanking whoever was responsible for throwing Luke in his life. Giving him new hope in the process as well._ _

__Alex cleared his throat while Bobby threw glances between Luke and Reggie until one of them broke the eye contact, each of them looking down at their plates, afraid they did something wrong._ _

__Bobby was the first to speak up. “Soooooo we can go if you're ready. Mum wants me back in a few for chores.” Alex elbowed him in the ribs._ _

__“Dude.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Guys, it's okay, you don't have to worry so much, everything will be okay. I'm just going home, you know, to my parents? Nothing will happen.”_ _

__None of the boys pointed out that something already _did _happen. They knew if Reggie didn't want to talk about it, he would pretend and slip on his mask, and a smile was put on his face and that was the end to the conversation.___ _

____Reggie put on his clothes from yesterday, giving Bobby back what he had lend him and they started their walk, doing only small talk about school and homework next week, already drained from their workload before even starting the school week._ _ _ _

____Turning in on Reggie’s street, only increased the weight sitting on his chest, but he couldn’t really explain why it sat there in the first place. That right there was the house he was living in for his whole life, his home, his parents were there, his family. Going home shouldn’t feel like entering a snake nest. Not knowing when you would get bitten only knowing it will happen, and poison seeping out from everywhere. Yes, that’s exactly what it was like, this house was full of poison, infecting his parents._ _ _ _

____Reggie didn’t want to stay there for long, in fear of catching it too. He didn’t want to get like them, lashing out at everyone and everything not matter how small the reason. But he knew deep down, it was inevitable to turn out like one of his parents._ _ _ _

____Maybe that’s why he was so afraid to go back, afraid that the longer he stayed in the presence of this house, the faster the poison would seek him out._ _ _ _

____Before he could ponder on the snake metaphor any longer, they reached his door. If only he grabbed his keys last night, in that case he could’ve slipped in unnoticed. But Alex already pushed the bell and he heard the ring echoing in the house._ _ _ _

____To everyone’s luck, it was Reggie’s mum who opened the front door, holding a cloth in one hand, clearly busy with cleaning up until now. It was Reggie’s luck, cause he wanted to keep out of his fathers’ way for as long as possible, Luke’s luck, cause he wouldn’t get in trouble for not thinking straight, and Alex and Bobby were just glad to get this over with._ _ _ _

____Reggie didn’t even notice at first the hand that was holding on his own. It calmed him down, grounded him in a way, but when he glanced to the side, he saw it was Luke, which let his heart skip a beat, not helping at all with his nervousness. Great, at least he was focused on something else than how he would spend the whole weekend in his room. The other skin on his felt nice, Luke’s hand was warm, and he slipped his fingers between his, giving a last squeeze before pulling back again, all without looking at him, focused on his mum instead._ _ _ _

____After eyeing the group standing on her porch Reggie’s mum opened the door a bit wider. “Hello boys. You all coming over today? Reggie didn’t mention anything.”_ _ _ _

____“No, they just walked me home. We’ll see each other on Monday, right?” Reggie asked in the round before stepping in, his mum moving back in the house, leaving them to say goodbye to each other._ _ _ _

____“Of course. Call if you need anything.” Luke told him and Reggie knew he was serious._ _ _ _

____“Take care” Alex gave him a small wave with his hand._ _ _ _

____“Maybe I’ll give you a crash course in teleportation on Monday.” Bobby said and Reggie couldn’t help but smile at the attempt of cheering him up._ _ _ _

____With one last look Reggie closed the door to the oddly silent house. On the left was the kitchen and he saw his mother standing at the sink, washing the dishes, probably from this morning. Like she could sense him, she turned her head to give him a warm smile before she resumed the washing._ _ _ _

____“Hello, honey. Grandma is coming over later and I want to bake a cake. You want something specifically? I’ll head over to the store in a minute, you can come with, if you like to.”_ _ _ _

____At first he didn’t know what to reply, too stunned at the disregard of yesterdays incident. His mother talked like nothing happened at all, looking at him with the same eyes, he missed the last weeks, months._ _ _ _

____But thinking about it, going shopping with his mum did sound nice, even more with the prospect of warm cake, that left a sweet scent in the whole house when coming out of the oven. It remined him so much of his childhood._ _ _ _

____And it was the reason why he couldn’t fully hate his parents. Because of moments like this._ _ _ _

____It’s the little things, like standing in the kitchen with his mum, preparing dinner together while he talks about his day, his mother listening in on his complaints about school, a new song Luke had written and they were trying to piece together, a new movie all four of them wanted to watch next week._ _ _ _

____When they were sitting at the dinner table, all three of them, on the rare days both his parents were home from work and they looked like a real family. He could joke with them, his mother gossiping about another coworker and his father talking about the city he had visited this week._ _ _ _

____On some days when he was grocery shopping with his mum and she brought ice cream for them both, remembering his favorite flavor (it was chocolate) and then chasing after him with a tissue, trying to wipe away the left over chocolate stains around his mouth like he was five again._ _ _ _

____When his father had a good day, he would tech Reggie the know-how of a car, preparing him for his license, and teaching him what every man should know._ _ _ _

____But over the past months even those sacred moments became rarer and rarer and Reggie didn’t know if he wanted to remember them anymore, them just being a painful reminder of what once was and was maybe never going to come again._ _ _ _

____He didn’t seek out his mother in the kitchen in fear of doing something wrong and her snapping at him after she was just so tired after working all day, preferring to cook alone in silence and not having to correct his mistakes._ _ _ _

____Getting ice cream after shopping became too childish when they even go together._ _ _ _

____His das got frustrated teaching him, saying if he wasn’t going to focus and listen anyway, this was all for nothing and he could do something better with his time, saying how ungrateful Reggie could be with all the time and money they gave him._ _ _ _

____Around the dinner table was mostly silence know. Reggie wasn’t sure if his parents wanted to hear about his day, they certainly didn’t ask for it and they also didn’t say a word, not even about work, what was bothering them, instead keeping silent, head down, staring at their own plates. Reggie could’ve been eating alone and would have had more fun._ _ _ _

____So, no one could blame him when he got excited over this little question from his mum, right? Maybe, just maybe, they realized whatever happened yesterday overstepped a line and now they were going back to where they were before. A happier family. Giving it all to stay like this this time. Starting with baking a cake. Together._ _ _ _

____Reggie was flooded with shame, that he thought for a moment coming back here was the worst mistake of his life when this Saturday was clearly the best that came after a string of bad and even worse Saturdays._ _ _ _

____When he later gave his grandma a lie why he looked like ‘a cat she just shooed out her garden with a broom’, nobody beside him and his parents had to know. It just came out of him, overcome with giddiness of having his family with him in a room, holding a conversation about Reggie’s latest grades (he got better in English) and how his friends were doing (they were great, the band is starting to get recognition), and even just listening in on his grandma gossiping about her neighbours (how could they decide on such horrendous looking curtains)._ _ _ _

____When Monday rolled around, the event from Friday wasn’t a prominent topic on his mind anymore, replaced with the great weekend he had behind him._ _ _ _

____He even got up in time and wasn’t the last to arrive at school, which didn’t happen often. But Alex and Bobby were already standing by his locker, clearly waiting on him, their books were clamped under their arms. They interrupted their conversation when they saw Reggie approaching._ _ _ _

____“How you doing?” Alex asked first. Always making sure his friends were good._ _ _ _

____“Good.” Reggie said. Adding a “Really” after his friends gave him a questioning look. He spoke about his weekend while they walked along the school halls. They had to split not long after, Bobby and Alex having politics while Reggie headed to his history class. The most boring one by far. All the dates and names, they didn’t want to stick in his memory no matter how long he stared into his book. What did it matter anyway what some dude did some hundred years ago? He was living now and was more interested what was going on in the world in the here and now._ _ _ _

____Seeing as Luke also wasn’t in class, he wondered where his friend was. Oversleeping wasn’t Luke’s problem, more being Reggie’s specialty. Trying not to fall in a deep hole of worrying, he just sat down, pulling out his pens and some paper._ _ _ _

____Reggie was never good with organisation and keeping a neat folder. Once Alex sat down with him, going through a big staple of papers and created folders with him but it didn’t stick. Reggie was back to stuffing all the lose papers in his backpack. When he complained about not finding a specific transcript from class, Alex would give him a look and hold up a folder of his like ‘look what a useful thing there is’._ _ _ _

____One reason why Reggie was glad the boys didn’t come over often. He didn’t have to tidy up his room. A teenager’s worst task to do._ _ _ _

____His history teacher, an elderly woman, who probably started teaching when the school was founded, cleared her throat to catch the attention of her students, starting off with going over the subjects of todays class. She was interrupted not shortly after by a panting Luke standing in the entryway, who didn’t look as sorry as he should be when he apologized to the teacher. Those puppy eyes couldn’t fool Reggie anymore._ _ _ _

____Luke gave him a big smile when sitting down at the table next to him and nudging his arm as a greeting._ _ _ _

____“What did I miss?” He whispered the question._ _ _ _

____Reggie was still transfixed on the arm that touched his just now. Of course, Luke wasn’t wearing any sleeves. Only a tank top and his blue sweater jacket over it. It should look ridiculous, really, but Reggie couldn’t help it, it suited Luke and it was really unfair how good he looked in it. And, oh my god he should stop thinking about Luke’s arms in general._ _ _ _

____“Uh, not much. She said we’re starting on some war against some country.” Thank goodness the sight of Luke’s bare arms didn’t wipe off his memory of the last minutes._ _ _ _

____Luke let out a sigh, sliding deeper down on his chair. “What’s new.”_ _ _ _

____The minutes dragged along, only the tapping of Luke’s pen against the table reminding him where Reggie was before he was totally lost in thoughts. Every time he tried extra hard to focus on his teachers’ voice or the text on the board, the faster he slipped into a daydream. When Luke caught on, he would give him a slight nudge to pull him out of it, knowing how hard it was on Reggie to stay put in one place for a prolonged period of time._ _ _ _

____This time Reggie was retrieved in form of a paper plane landing on his table. Looking to his side he saw Luke mouthing an ‘open it’ at him. He unfolded it, revealing Luke’s messy writing. He could only decipher it from years of practicing. No wonder Luke keeps getting such bad grades when the teachers can’t read what he has written down as an answer. But Reggie could read the one sentence written down. _Have some great news to tell you and the others!! Will tell at lunch! _Underneath was a poorly drawn comic version of their teacher and Reggie had to suppress a chuckle, his fist pressed on his mouth. No need to say Luke was also very bad in art.___ _ _ _

______When Reggie looked up again, Luke’s eyes were still on him, waiting for a reaction and Reggie gave him a thumbs up. Luke’s enthusiasm was just contaminating and exactly what Reggie needed on Mondays._ _ _ _ _ _

______Later when all four of them were reunited at their lunch table, Luke revealed his big news and talked about a gig he organized for them. Okay, it was just a book club but who was to say women in their middle ages couldn’t enjoy some good rock. Luke emphasized that they would get a small payment _and _there was always food at book clubs. Which lured out a groan from the rest, because come on, that wasn’t their motivation for playing in a band. But Bobby’s reasoning (it was attracting girls) gave him a slap on the head from Alex.___ _ _ _ _ _


	3. A little party never killed nobody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did this chapter took me longer than I expected? Yes, absolutely. But for making up for the long time you needed to wait, this one is a bit longer. I finished it just now and I'm tired, so there might be mistakes, I'm sorry.
> 
> For clarification: Alex is already out to his friends, I didn't include his coming out in this fic because it's not Alex centric, but don't worry, they were all supportive of him.

„Guess what boys.“ Bobby said as soon as he came through the garage door, making himself comfortable on the couch right away, his backpack thrown carelessly on the ground to his feet. A complacent smile was adorning his face, not a rare sight but it was mostly used in presence of girls, not the band. 

As the others looked up from their respective instruments, curiously looking over to where Bobby was sitting, he pulled a flyer out of his backpack, holding it out to them. Luke was the first to take a hold of it, skimming over the paper.  
“’Welcoming autumn – the most colourful Party of the year’ What is that?” He asked curious and gave it over to Alex who shared it with Reggie peeking over his shoulder.

“James gave it to me today. Lizzy’s parents will be gone for a whole week, so this weekend she holds a party at her house, and we are invited. Well, I was invited but everyone knows we are coming as a pack of four.” 

While that last statement might be true, they have never been to a party as a whole group. Bobby has been, seeing as he was one year over them and more experienced in most things and this included being invited to house parties, getting his first beer, and kissing girls (which he never shuts up about). 

The other three had acquaintances outside the band but it was never enough to get an invite. Or maybe just weren’t cool enough. 

Alex had his eyebrows pulled together, nibbling on his lower lip. “I don’t know. How many will be there? Aren’t they all older than us? What should we do there when we don’t know anyone?”

Bobby was ready to encounter Alex concerns, but Reggie, who joined him on the couch, beat him to it. “Have fun for once? What do you think happens on a party? Also, you have more advanced courses already, you should know a few. There will be glad to know their tutor isn’t just all about school and homework. I say we go.”

Alex didn’t seem convinced just yet but one look at Luke indicated he was outnumbered. 

Their lead singer put his guitar in his stand, sitting down next to Bobby and Reggie on the couch. “I agree. We earned ourselves one night of fun. We have worked hard the last weeks, and a pause is good for everyone. Maintaining the motivation and all that.”

To hear that coming out of Luke’s mouth shocked everyone else in the room, seeing as he was the one to remind them day in day out how important daily practice was and making sure they were all on time and their instruments always ready for action.

But Reggie and Bobby weren’t complaining, it was a nice change, only Alex was still undecided.

“I just don’t want you all to abandon me for some girl and I have to stand alone in some corner.”

Luke scoffed at the accusation. “As if we would ever do that. I’m not going there for someone else besides you guys. Come on, Alex, I know you want to have some fun. And when you say your parents will never allow it, we’ll come up with a plan.”

Alex, who had that exact thought in his mind, looked up from the floor he was pacing on. “Wow okay you know me too well. Maybe I really do need a change of scene. Perhaps _I _find some new people because honestly, you boys can get too much sometimes. Especially when you’re conspiring against me.” Saying it with a teasing smile on his lips, showed his friends he wasn’t entirely serious about it, but they all played offended, crossing their arms in front of them almost in sync. The sight elicited a laugh from Alex, the others joining in right away.  
__

-

  
A knock on his door pulled Reggie out of his headspace and he whipped his head around, ready to face one of his parents, even though they barely knocked before letting themselves in. But it was Luke who stuck his head through the door before pushing it completely open. 

“Your mum let me in. She seemed a bit….out of it? All good?” Luke asked cautiously, keeping his voice light, instantly going over to Reggie’s bed after closing the door again. With Reggie it was best to not let the worry shine through or else he shut down immediately. It didn’t work today.

“Yeah yeah, everything’s fine. Actually … no I can’t decide on a shirt, wanna look nice tonight, you know. I know I know, we said Alex there will be no abandoning happen tonight, but maybe there is someone who is worth to impress for. Not that I know who’s coming and the people we see in school every day didn’t strike me as the – “

Luke held his hands up in a stopping motion from where he was perched up on the bed. “Okay slow down. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice. Not that you ever had been looking anything else than beautiful but if you ask me you should wear this.” Holding up a shirt from one of the piles forming on the floor and then throwing it over to Reggie. “It brings out your eyes.”

Inspecting it shortly and then discarding the one he was wearing right now, he slipped on the shirt Luke gave him. Afterwards he did a Ta-da motion to show off to Luke, who gave a thumbs up in response and who had, to Reggie’s wondering, a slight tint on his cheeks. Well, it was a pretty warm evening, Luke was probably riding his bike too fast on his way over to him. 

“Okay, let me just search for my backpack. It must have developed some kind of legs. Do you think backpacks can go through evolution? Imagine seeing one with an elephant trunk.” Doing circles in his room, Reggie searched under his bed and in his closet, by his desk but came up with nothing.

“Yeah, that must be pretty awesome.” Luke sputtered out, only slightly distracted by how good Reggie looked in the golden evening sun shining through the window, right in Reggie’s face. He could only admire the freckles across Reggie’s cute nose and cheeks, always more prominent over the summer, before they were completely vanished when winter arrived. It made him look so innocent and sweet, and Luke reminded himself that this was definitely crossing a line in a friendship and spun his head in another direction, intensely looking at the posters decorating Reggie’s walls.

Reggie’s exclamation let him turn his head a second time. “Ha, got it.” 

“I’m proud of you buddy, are we ready to go?”

-

  
By the time they reached the two-story house, located in the suburbs of LA, darkness had settled over the city. Bobby taught them coming too early was a no go and it was safer to arrive an hour later than one had planned, and Reggie had wondered if there were any other social rules out there, he didn’t knew existed and were essential to survive his teenage years if he didn’t want to end as an outcast.

There was no need to knock. The door was open, and most people were already mingling around, holding a beverage in one hand, talking and/or dancing around. Luke was glad that the music didn’t suck, that would’ve ruined his night for sure, especially since he didn’t bring his guitar. No wooing girls tonight so why take it along. He could survive one night without it even if only to prove a point to his bandmates who constantly teased him about how his guitar became an accessory just like his rings. 

Their bags were discarded near the entrance and they made their way further into the house. Bobby stopped by the first group of guys they encountered and the other three made their way over the kitchen, inspecting the snacks and drinks. Of course they had known alcohol was served at such a cool party and it’s not like they had never tasted it. Well, Alex was allowed a sip of wine at service, Luke was offered a beer at his last birthday, and Reggie just grabbed a bottle out of the fridge once because he was curious. They all thought it tasted okay, but they couldn’t grasp the excitement coming from other students who gushed about how drunk they had gotten at the last party, when they were standing around on Mondays, telling they weekend stories to each other. Surely, they were just exaggerating to distract from the fact that their weekends were just as boring as anyone else’s. 

That’s why Alex eyed Reggie sideways when he confidently grabbed a cup and poured whatever was in the bottle that stood nearby in it. Alex had decided to embrace his inner mother tonight and wanted to look out for the group. He was pretty sure they would lose Bobby sometime through the evening, Reggie would talk to as many people as he could find, the social butterfly he was, and Luke could get some pretty dumb ideas sometimes, especially when ladies were involved. Not that they had a reputation to uphold, even though they should maintain one when they wanted to go big as a band. 

While Reggie was sipping at his cup, only slightly scrunching his face at the content as it slid down his throat, Luke was absorbing the bowl of chips in a speed to which Alex could just shake his head to. Try calculating that velocity in physics, he thought.

“Come on, let’s find Bobby and check out the dance floor.” Reggie proposed, to which Luke gave an agreeing head nod. Only Alex groaned. He was awkward enough as it is, how should he move when people were watching him. They probably didn’t, but Alex could never shake off the feeling that people were glancing at him and were whispering behind his back, blame his anxiety to present him with the most uncomfortable scenarios in his head.

He had no time though to suggest another activity when Reggie was pulling on his hand, successfully dragging him through the house, and even picking up Bobby on the way. That’s how Alex found himself dancing in a group of four one hour later. His friends didn’t let him step aside, not even for a second, only for a bathroom break. 

They pulled off the most ridiculous dance moves he has in seen in his life, trying to recreate dances from music videos, and even Alex couldn’t contain his smile, anxiety shoved away for now. And when he saw that big grin on Reggie’s face not vanishing over the time, he was glad they all came here tonight. He supposed they all needed a breather.

Relieved his friends agreed on a pause eventually, Alex, Luke, and Reggie stood against a wall between kitchen and living room. Bobby was off again but the other three were content with only having each other. Reggie was gone for a while too, chatting up other people from school. Alex never understood how he could just go up and talk to random people, but he always was the easy-going type and not as tight wired as Alex. Even if his friends saw another side of Reggie lately, a shy and vulnerable one, he was still the one with the jokes, and welcoming and open demeanor.

Only Luke didn’t move away from his side, but he seemed to search for someone from time to time, looking out over the crowd, eyes skimming the faces and then he would let his head fall again disappointed. Alex was already feeling bad for making his friends promise him they would stick to his side. Luke clearly wanted to spend time with someone else, not that he had mentioned a girl in the past weeks. Strange. Normally Luke and Bobby and sometimes Reggie would gush about a new girl in school or the woman on the cover of a magazine or come back to how nice Nancy’s hair was wafting in the wind at outdoor sports. (Honestly who cared about how somebody’s hair looked?)

Every time Reggie stopped by, he seemed even more exhilarated and vibrating with energy, but Luke and Alex were just glad to see him enjoy himself. They had missed this old self of Reggie the last days or even weeks. This was going on for too long now.  
The only time his smile faltered a little was when Lindsay tried to persuade Luke to dance with her, but he politely declined not even sparing her second glance when she waltzed off.

The three of them were in the kitchen again for Reggie having a refill and for them all getting something to eat, when the night finally took a turn for the worst. Alex _knew _it would happen, he just couldn’t predict when or why exactly. But multiple people, boys in particular, in their puberty, hormones mixed with alcohol, it just called for a disaster.__

__“Hey, what’s going on over there?” Alex asked into the round, turning to the back of the living room after hearing some kind of tumult. And spotting a familiar dark mop of hair, he got an uneasy feeling in his gut. More so than he had in the first place after deciding to come with his friends to a real party. (What was he thinking, he knew something would happen.)_ _

__“Is that Bobby?” Reggie spoke out what Alex was fearing, Luke whipping his head around to get a look at the scene._ _

__Being their bandmate and friend, they had the responsibility to help him and get him out of bad situations. And whatever was going on over there, was seemingly going down that road._ _

__Luke seemed to sense the same thing, setting down the snacks. “Let’s get him before he does something stupid to get him into trouble.”_ _

__“Bobby’s second name _is _trouble.” Reggie let out with a snicker, his cup still in hand and shaking dangerously. Luckily it wasn’t full anymore or the floor would’ve taken another spill over the course of the night. Or not that lucky, meaning Reggie did take some pretty big gulps in the short time they lingered behind the counter.___ _

____“Not now, Reggie.” Alex hissed out. Great two drunk friends were worse than one. Or a preferred number of zero._ _ _ _

____Bobby was holding back another boy with a hand resting on his chest, twisted in the fabric of the shirt, to prevent him from coming near, pinning him to the wall behind him. On the other side stood a girl, looking hurt, angry, and confused at the same time. What in hell was going on here?_ _ _ _

____Luke was the first to approach. His impulse to protect everyone he loves taking over quick. “Hey, what’s going on? All good here?”_ _ _ _

____The boy sneered at him. “What do you think? This guy here doesn’t know what fun looks like.”_ _ _ _

____Bobby scoffed and pressed his hand even stronger on the chest. “Fun? Really, Hanson? Harassing some girl is fun to you? You should be glad that I haven’t given you a broken nose, just like you deserve.”_ _ _ _

____Alex in the meanwhile had pulled the girl aside, while the boy was distracted with Bobby’s threat and pushed her to go somewhere else._ _ _ _

____“Oh, you want to go down this road yeah? Let me and we can handle this like real man.”_ _ _ _

____“You think you have a chance-“_ _ _ _

____“Hey Bobby, just let him go, it’s not worth it.” Alex tried to dispute before the anger was boiling over in both boys, he could see the heat in Bobby’s eyes and knew what could follow. Had seen it enough times in the school hallways, earning Bobby detention as a result. But here was no teacher present to prevent fights to go further than necessary._ _ _ _

____Bobby gave him a quick glance over the shoulder before his attention snapped back to that Hanson guy, who had put both his hands on Bobby’s in an attempt to free himself. “Absolutely not, someone should teach him what consent looks like.”_ _ _ _

____“As if-“ The other boy started, but Bobby was quick to interrupt him with a shout._ _ _ _

____“Hey! Shut up! You have nothing to say here.”_ _ _ _

____Alex could see Reggie getting uneasy on his side. This situation was the opposite of a good night out._ _ _ _

____It was Reggie who finally spoke after Hanson and Bobby were just staring at each other, both coming up with strategies in their head, ready to fight off the other._ _ _ _

____“Guys please, can’t we just-“_ _ _ _

____Bobby snapped at him before he could finish the sentence, voice louder than usual, probably enhanced by the alcohol. “Can’t you just shut your mouth for once Reggie?” His body turned around to them gave the impression his anger was directed to them and not Hanson, and Reggie must’ve thought so too as he flinched and his breath hitched, when the voice was raised at him. Shrinking in on himself before stuttering out a quiet “Sorry”, that was barely audible over the music, and making a beeline to the backdoor._ _ _ _

____Luke was quick on his heals, but not before giving Bobby the deathliest glare he could muster, disappointed with his friends behavior, and leaving Alex to deal with this._ _ _ _

____The door to the garden was still open when Luke reached it and he spotted Reggie hunched over on the Hollywood swing, it moved slightly from the motion. Slowly he made his way over to not scare Reggie any further. He hated to see him like this. Unsure of himself and jumpy, that was usually more in Alex compartment._ _ _ _

____“Hey.” Luke softly said and took a seat besides Reggie, leaving just a little space to give Reggie a bit of freedom and to decide for himself if he wanted the contact. He apparently didn’t and Luke was admittedly a bit hurt._ _ _ _

____Reggie’s eyes were connected with the not so green grass under his feet and he was fiddling with his hands, a habit only surfacing when Reggie’s mood was really down, so deep down the basement wasn’t enough. Luke wasn’t the right person for this situation, he was always soaking up the feelings of a distressed or crying person and in turn got upset too, unable to find the right words. Alex was way better equipped to do so, but being with Bobby right now wouldn’t be better, his temperament as erratic as Bobby’s, in no way helping to calm the situation going on inside._ _ _ _

____Seeing as Reggie wasn’t keen on physical contact in the moment, the only language Luke was capable of besides music, he could just sit there and wait for Reggie to do the first step._ _ _ _

____But before he could do that the door opened again, revealing Bobby and Alex, music pouring out alongside them, with the two of them coming closer now and mirroring Luke on the swing. Alex on the other side of Reggie and then Bobby, whose facial expression could be summarized in one word: shame._ _ _ _

____“Reg, I need to apologize to you.” His voice wasn’t as slurred as Luke had expected but it was still drawn out, or Bobby was just unsure how to formulate a proper apology. Bobby searched for eye contact, but Reggie was still focused on the ground, not revealing his state of mind._ _ _ _

____“Really Reggie, I’m so so sorry. I was just- I don’t know, so angry but I shouldn’t have let it out on you guys and especially you. Not with- and everything. And I was pretty shocked to see you respond so badly and I feel so bad, I’m … yeah I’m sorry.“_ _ _ _

____“It’s okay Bobby, I know you didn’t mean it.” There was no real emotion in his voice other than defeat._ _ _ _

____“But still, it was wrong of me to raise my voice on you.”_ _ _ _

____When Reggie was finally lifting his head, he found all three of his friends looking at him. Attention wasn’t something he disliked per se, but it was unwanted in the moment. It’s not that he didn’t like them having around, but right now he wished for nothing more than to disappear into the ground. He revealed an aspect of him without meaning to after stuffing it down for an indefinite amount of time and betrayed himself because he swore to never let his bad and negative emotions out and lay them out on display, free to interpret. He was feeling shameful enough as it was after the accident where his bandmates had to comfort him, and he swore to never let it repeat. But here he was now. A deep sigh left him._ _ _ _

____Alex, as attentive as he was, could see through Reggie’s self – controlled wall. “Should we talk about it? Because this is not right Reg. It’s not a normal response whatever you showed inside.”_ _ _ _

____In Reggie’s alcohol clouded mind, it sounded pretty funny to him and he couldn’t stop his mouth to let out a short chuckle, thinking about how ‘normal’ wasn’t a word in his vocabulary, not with the way his life was going._ _ _ _

____He couldn’t see how the others each lifted an eyebrow, concern written on their faces. But they could all see that this moment on the Hollywood swing, in the backyard of a house they have never been to and belonged to a family they didn’t know, wasn’t the right place to discuss deeper issues. Even if it meant pushing back the problem at hand. Again._ _ _ _

____Reggie smiled feebly, without force behind the motion, just to get boys off his back “I’m good guys, shouldn’t we congratulate Bobby on his honorable act to safe a girl like a knight in charming armor? Who knows, maybe she will remember you and you get a date and on your wedding night you can recount how you two first met. I think that’s pretty romantic.”_ _ _ _

____Bobby gave an embarrassed snort and rubbed his hands over his face. Hopefully _no one _would remember this moment. “Nah, I just drowned too many beers and thought I could take him down.”___ _ _ _

______Alex gave him a clap on the back. “Maybe we should get back inside. Not that they could live without us.” The others agreed._ _ _ _ _ _

______When Reggie stood up, his extent of drunkenness came rushing back at him, as if he was only now remembering he had been drinking anything at all, intoxication hitting him with full force. His legs were a bit unsteady and with the force he got up, he almost tumbled over and would’ve planted face first on the floor when Luke hadn’t caught his arm and put a hand on his chest to stabilize him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Woah, maybe we should get you home. You had enough fun for today and I suspect that Bobby feels any different, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bobby was indeed having the same thought and gave a thumbs up._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll bring Bobby home.” Alex offered. He wanted to make sure his friend really arrived at his doorstep and didn’t took a break in a bush alongside the road. A midnight walk sounded like a great idea and should sober Bobby up enough to smuggle him in the house._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Okay. Reggie is coming back to mine.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Only going in for their backpacks and ignoring everyone else, they were quick to make it out of the house again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“See each other on Mondays?” Luke asked and got two ‘Sure’ in return and then they were all off to get home._ _ _ _ _ _

______Luke was the one who proposed to Reggie he could sleep at his house tonight, but he hadn’t factored in a drunk Reggie. Or slightly drunk. But like all first times, they had more impact, he supposed.  
The walk was nice with Reggie telling a few jokes here and there and Luke couldn’t hold back a laugh at how dumb they were. _ _ _ _ _ _

______“Knock knock.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Who’s there?” (He would ask with a fake annoyed voice like he couldn’t take another joke, but he loved it.)_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Gladys.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Gladys who?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Gladys the weekend – no homework.” And even Reggie couldn’t contain his laughter and they could probably be heard in the whole block and woke up the neighbors in that late hour but who cared, it was a blissful moment._ _ _ _ _ _

______The key in the lock gave a loud jingle and Luke cringed at the noise, hopefully his parents were sleeping deeply and couldn’t hear the still snickering Reggie on his side._ _ _ _ _ _

______All hope was crushed though as he entered and found his mum standing in the dimly lit kitchen with a glass of water in one hand._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hi mum.” He said and gave her a sweet smile. They had a bad week behind them including a few fights, and he didn’t want to give her another reason to tear his head off. Reggie on the other hand wasn’t getting the memo and greeted Emily loudly with a big grin and an overexaggerated hand wave, which almost left him tip over again. There was no way Emily didn’t connect the dots and Luke pinched his nose. There was more than friendly love for his friend but sometimes his nerves couldn’t take it._ _ _ _ _ _

______Luke hasn’t been upfront with his mum and said the four of them would come together at Bobby’s and hold a movie night, nothing they didn’t do before, so the lie had come easy. He couldn’t read his mothers mind and wondered if she thought someone brought them alcohol with which they pepped up their movie night or came to the conclusion they had been at a party._ _ _ _ _ _

______Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be good._ _ _ _ _ _

______His mum finally broke the awkward silence that had settled in the kitchen after Reggie got the cue to be silent. “Why don’t you bring Reggie in your room. I’ll bring you something to drink and a pill for tomorrow.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The sweetness of his mum was confusing him but after a quick ‘Thanks’ he did as she told and maneuvered Reggie into his room and on his bed. Getting him to change into his sleep clothes was another matter but they got there after some time._ _ _ _ _ _

______Settled into the bed the two of them faced each other, the blanket covering their bodies and Reggie was pulling it up to his face in an attempt to hide in it. Their eyes were already closed but they weren’t ready for sleep just yet. It was always easier to talk in the dark in the late hours of the night._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I had fun tonight.” Luke whispered into the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Me too.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I like seeing you happy.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m always happy with you.” It wasn’t more than a quite mumble, but the words reached Luke’s ears and turned them red, lucky for him it couldn’t be seen in the dark. “Same.” He could spot a smile forming on Reggie’s face and he could kiss him right then and there, but he held himself back, closing his eyes again in an attempt to lower his heartbeat. If that would happen every time now he lay close to Reggie, it could be problematic because someday he may not be able to resist._ _ _ _ _ _

______On Monday Alex told the story of his and Bobby’s adventure where Alex barely got Bobby into his room without waking his parents because Bobby seemed to forget how stairs worked, and when Alex turned to leave Bobby wrapped his arms around him and pulled him onto his bed, snuggling closer. Alex swore he didn’t like being the little spoon and Bobby was trying to defend his drunken actions with a red face, but Luke was just jealous he didn’t get the experience, with Reggie of course._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case any underage fans are reading my fanfiction (I'm over 20): drink responsibly and don't use it as a way to drown out feelings, it's not worth it.


	4. Tell your friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are getting longer and longer, I don't know what I'm doing, there are so many ideas in my head. 
> 
> But I'm quite proud of how this one turned out, I hope you like it too.
> 
> Disclaimer: I know nothing about math (reason why I'm struggling with my major), also don't know which year the boys are in and what topics are covered, so you just have to take what I wrote.

“Reginald, here’s someone on the phone for you, come here!” His mother’s raised voice carried all the way through the door to his room, he was on his feet immediately, not wanting to let his mother wait. Her patience was worn down thin these days.

Luke was on the phone, not that Reggie was surprised, he might be the person he talked to on the phone the most. 

Late at night when his parents were busy downstairs fighting in the kitchen while Reggie didn’t know how to distract himself, already having listened to his Green Day Dookie cassette twice. Or in the evening when Luke would call him to complain about his parents who had cornered him at the dinner table again to talk about his future and grades and the latest test he failed cause he was too busy playing guitar instead of learning. Or right after school when they couldn’t finish their conversation on the too short ride on the school bus and continuing over the phone until one of their parents complained they needed the phone to make an important call. With adults it was seemingly always important. 

“What’s up Luke?” Reggie asked when he took the phone out of his mother’s hand, a smile unwillingly formed when he heard Luke’s voice carry through the phone shell. 

“Do you have time to get over the latest chapter in math with me? My mum is on my back again and I promised her the last time I would really try and do better cause I have no desire to fight again or for her threating me that I have to quit the band.” Luke sounded desperate so he must be serious with his inquiry. 

Mostly it was Alex and Reggie going over homework, and Bobby chiming in before exams to revise the material together. Luke was rarely participating, even though he joined them in the garage sometimes when the other three sat hunched over around the small table, their books and pages cramped on it. But he was fiddling with his guitar instead, playing relaxing melodies to make thinking easier. 

That’s why Reggie was surprised at first that _Luke _out of all people wanted to learn math and with _Reggie _out of all the possible friends Luke could’ve asked, oh god why him? The outlook of sharing more time alone with Luke let his stomach flutter with nervousness. Why did his gut always had to interfere when he was thinking about Luke, his heart had enough stress as it is?____

____But on the other hand, why would Reggie deny himself spending more time with Luke, his best friend?_ _ _ _

____“Sure, I’m happy to help.” He agreed and twirled the phone cord around his finger in a nervous manner. He wished he could walk around while talking but he was stuck to one place where the phone was sitting in the corridor. “You comming over right now?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, gimme 15 minutes, I’m packing my stuff and head over.”_ _ _ _

____“Okay, see you soon.”_ _ _ _

____“Bye.”_ _ _ _

____In the 15 minutes left before Luke would arrive, Reggie tried to make his room appear less cluttered and messy, and more like he knew what cleaning supplies were and actually used them from time to time. The outcome was not the desired picture he had in his head, but it had to do. They were over each other places often enough and unannounced to know that they all were not the tidiest people with the exception being Alex. His room was a mum’s wet dream. Reggie cringed at that thought. He did not want to think about those two things together. Quick, think about puppies._ _ _ _

____Fortunately, he didn’t need to as the doorbell rang in that moment and he could hear his mum opening it and greeting Luke, who appeared at his door just a short moment later, a plate in his hand._ _ _ _

____“My mum shoved this plate into my hands before I could go, and I quote ‘to thank Reggie for his attempt to hammer in something useful into your brain’.”_ _ _ _

____“Hello to you too and you can thank your mum when you get home, I love her cookies.” Reggie said as he already made grabby hands at the plate and the cookies, he had spot on it._ _ _ _

____Emily’s baking skills were maybe the only thing getting him through exam time, when his brain needed the extra sugar intake for keeping all the information in his head. Little did she know that her son wasn’t participating much in the studying sessions he claimed he attended with his friends._ _ _ _

____Throwing his backpack in one corner, Luke set the plate down on the table and made himself comfortable on the extra chair, putting his feet on the table, careful to avoid the sacred cookies Reggie was already munching on._ _ _ _

____“You might want to retrieve your bag, you said you wanted to learn.” Reggie said in-between bites, a few crumbs falling in his lap. “And keep your feet off my table, didn’t your mum teach you any manners dude?” He grinned at his friend in a way to show he wasn’t that serious._ _ _ _

____Luke only groaned as he got up again and pulled his math book out to lay it on the table, searching for the right pages. The book was full of scribbles and notes and little sketches, like any other surface Luke could get his hands on when his mind swirled with ideas and too much energy he couldn’t let out when sitting in class bound to a chair._ _ _ _

____Reggie rubbed his hands against each other to get rid of all extra crumps before drawing the textbook closer to get a look at it. “So, with what exactly do you have difficulties with?”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t know. Everything?” Luke rubbed his neck, feeling uncomfortable and a bit ashamed having to admit he in indeed knew nothing about the things that were explained on the pages laying before him. “Like where are all these letters coming from suddenly and what have sine and cosine have to do with this circle and why do these equations have to be so long?”_ _ _ _

____“Okay first of all these letters are just variables or you can call them placeholders, they could be any number as long as it makes sense in the calculation, but we don’t know which one so you can even call them an unknown.” Reggie tore a paper from his block, reached for a chewed-on pencil, and started drawing on it before continuing. “Second, if you look at this circle and draw a line here and here to get a 90° angle and then a point here you get a right triangle where you know the correlation between hypotenuse and catheter and then- “_ _ _ _

____“Honestly, I know I heard of these words, but I can’t recall what that thing with the triangle was.” Luke interrupted him, an apologetic expression in his eyes, fearing he was getting on Reggie’s nerves with his cluelessness, hearing all this just made him feel stupid again, reason he avoided studying the subject in the first place. But Reggie’s response was a small smile, gaze all soft, and not upset in the slightest._ _ _ _

____“That’s okay. Then we will start there, and stop me whenever you couldn’t follow, I know I can go off when I’m really in the topic.”_ _ _ _

____Sometimes Luke wondered how Reggie, clumsy, goofy, not – the – sharpest – tool – in – the – shed – Reggie could be so good in math of all things._ _ _ _

____Alex was talented in all artistic subjects, art foremost but even woodwork or sewing was nothing difficult to master for him. For Alex art was where he could pour all his emotions and conflicting thoughts and anxiety ridden concerns into and feeling freed and lighter after. Other classes weren’t difficult for him either, he was better than average in most, hence his tutoring job._ _ _ _

____Bobby was weirdly talented when it came to languages, having taken Spanish and German besides English, and when he was annoyed or irritated, he would switch into another language and the boys stood there not knowing what exactly Bobby had called them. Luke didn’t know to this day what ‘Dorschgesicht’ was supposed to mean._ _ _ _

____Luke of course knew how to write music and this subject was the only one he mastered without even trying too hard. Besides that, he was always anticipating debating, from all the fights with his mum he knew exactly what kind of arguments to pull out at the exact right time to get the desired reactions from the opponent. English wasn’t too bad either even though the books were mostly lame, but he was good in interpreting the metaphors used and writing long ass essays about whatever topic they covered that week._ _ _ _

____Reggie though liked the science courses the most, something one would never guess when looking at him or knowing him. Math and physics were the easiest, but chemistry was just amazing with all the components creating new substances, and biology was also interesting with all these microscopic sized bacteria._ _ _ _

____Luke could just admire his friend for his cleverness and his ability to stay on top of his homework and learning for every test and exam the best he could._ _ _ _

____With the way Reggie talked about the equations, Luke was almost too entranced staring at the other lips and the way they moved, forming words he should listen to._ _ _ _

____Reggie on the other hand was overly aware of how close their hands were laying on the table, almost touching, their pinkies merely an inch away, and he tried so hard to push that fact back and concentrate on the matter on hand, explaining the example given in the book, not realizing that Luke wasn’t even writing down notes at this point._ _ _ _

____He was only stuttering for a second when Luke closed the gap and caressed the back of his hand with his fingers in a simple pattern, only so slightly going over his skin Reggie could barely feel it but the motion was sending shivers up his arm, raising awareness for what was happening. Reggie tried even harder to focus on the page, not giving in the want to glance at his hands or even Luke, not risking that Luke would pull back when he noticed how much Reggie was enjoying this. He really shouldn’t, goddamnit what was happening with him?_ _ _ _

____Before his brain filter could fail permanently and let him do or say something stupid he would regret, Reggie willed himself to pull his hand away under the appearance he just wanted to turn the page but didn’t dare to set his hand down were it was before, instead letting it fall to his lap._ _ _ _

____“And that’s it. We’ve gone through the whole chapter.” Reggie concluded, looking up at Luke with a proud smile. “Good job, you did it, your mum will be thrilled to hear that I got through your thick head.”_ _ _ _

____Luke beamed at him with equal intensity, not quite believing they really mastered the task of teaching him math._ _ _ _

____“You were a good teacher, so the success is all yours.” Clapping Reggie on the back, whose cheeks were tinted with the usual blotches of pink._ _ _ _

____Their eyes met again and for a moment neither of them spoke, only taking each other in, sitting so dangerously close all of a sudden, Reggie noticed, their knees touching. When did that happen and oh god did Luke’s gaze dipped down to his lips? No that was probably just a wishful imagination on his part, his feelings taking over yet again, he should really put some distance between them before Luke realized how his heart tried to escape his chest from beating so fast._ _ _ _

____The moment was over all of a sudden when the boys heard a car pulling in the driveway in front of the house to where Reggie’s window was placed, both of them whipping their heads around and straightening up, the spell broken. The light of the headlights casting the table and its content in a dim light before they were shut off and a car door was slammed closed._ _ _ _

____“No, fuck, my dad’s already home. You have to go.” Reggie was scrambling Luke’s stuff together before the other could react at the sudden mood swing in Reggie._ _ _ _

____Finally registering how frantically Reggie was putting his stuff in his bag Luke also stood up. “Why? I thought we could hang out a bit to wind down. Now that math is out the window, I can finally show you the melody I came up with, don’t you want to hear it?” It’s not like Luke lied about his plan but in reality, he was resistant to leave Reggie here alone with his parents but didn’t want to express is that clearly._ _ _ _

____“I do want to hear it but not know, you can show me tomorrow at practice, it’s late anyways and I have homework too, so could you please go?” Luke didn’t point out that it wasn’t even 9 and his curfew wasn’t over till another hour but hearing how persistent Reggie was to get rid of him, it was maybe better to just follow Reggie’s wish._ _ _ _

____Reggie was fidgeting with the sleeves of his flannel tied around his waist, hoping he could get Luke out of the house before his parents started an argument, that would be just too embarrassing. Telling his friends about his parents’ fights was one thing but having them witness one was too much. He was relieved when Luke let out an “Okay.” and swung his bag over his shoulder._ _ _ _

____“You can always call me.” Luke added before pulling Reggie in a tight hug as a goodbye, putting his arms around Reggie’s neck. In the half dark room time passed away differently and the hug may have lasted longer than any of them would have admitted, but Reggie was smiling at Luke when he pulled away, counting it as a win._ _ _ _

____As Luke walked out the door, closing it behind him and walking over to his bike he could already hear Reggie’s mothers voice, too loud for a normal conversation over the dinner table. Sighing because he was utterly powerless and would like to march back in and give Reggie’s parents a piece of his mind, especially his father, but couldn’t without hurting Reggie in the process. This situation was all kinds of fucked up and he wished they all, Reggie, Alex, Bobby, and Luke didn’t have to go through all this shit.  
Maybe, when they booked the gig that would catapult them into success, their parents would realize how wrong they have been._ _ _ _

______ _ _

-

He should really talk to Alex about this, was Reggie’s first thought in the morning after he woke up from his pleasant dream. The dream that sparked the idea of a conversation with Alex. Normally his dreams weren’t explicit, the plot tangled and vague without people he knew, but last night a person he was very familiar with emerged out of the dark fog in his head. Luke had visited his dream and Reggie was becoming gradually more confused. 

Over the last days Reggie had done more thinking about his best friend than over the last years combined but he couldn’t come to a result and he was on his wits end. There was only one person that he knew could help him. Not that he didn’t trust Bobby, but this guy was as straight as celery and Reggie was fairly sure that he wasn’t anymore. Straight that is. 

The revelation had come to him one day last week in school when Luke came around the corner, showing off his arms in his ridiculous not appropriate for school tank top and Reggie had to quickly dodge an open locker door because he was too distracted staring. And there he realized that no friend was reacting that way to another friend and some puzzle pieces had come together. But the big picture still remained uncovered.

The dream however was the last push Reggie needed to call Alex and asking if he had time to meet up. Alex confirmed that he indeed was free, and Reggie wasn’t sure to be relieved or anxious. Time flew over too quickly for his likening till he sat down on his regular spot on the beach on a tipped over tree stump, his feet digging into the sand. Only minutes later Reggie became aware of a blur of pink coming from his right site, Alex approaching him and sitting down beside him. Giving him a side hug as a greeting and saying “Hi” to him.

“Hey.” Reggie replied. “How was the day so far?” He added, unsure how to start the conversation.

“Good, my sister got a new Sunday dress for church und was running around the house with it, mum on her heels afraid she would ruin it on her first day.” Alex had to laugh as the memory from this morning replayed in his head. 

Reggie let out a bit of air instead of a real laugh. “Yeah, she’s a real whirlwind. Haven’t seen her in while, how is she doing?”

“She likes school, so there is that, and her friends are over often, and they want me to play with them all the time, don’t know why they like me so much. Thought older siblings are supposed to be uncool.” Reggie was nodding along to what Alex was saying, who gave him a side look, taking in Reggie’s nervous appearance. “But I don’t think you wanted me to come to talk about my sister.”

Damn, Alex was too perceptive. “Yeah, no, there was something on my mind actually.” He admit, his leg bouncing steadily up and down, up and down.

“Oh?” A single eyebrow was pulled up.

“I just don’t know how to start, I’m afraid I will say something dumb.” Reggie was still not looking at Alex.

“Then say something dumb. There is no one here who could hear it besides me, and I won’t judge.”

Letting out a sigh, Reggie tried to form the words in his mind first before speaking, taking a different approach than usual. “Lately, I—there are these feelings I can’t really …. I don’t know what they mean. Or I _do _know what they mean, maybe, but I’m too afraid to admit them.”__

__Alex was nodding his head to encourage him to continue, carefully listening._ _

__“I don’t even know when it started but there was this revelation and I was like ‘Oh, it’s not normal’.”_ _

__Alex who to this point thought he had an idea what this was about, furrowed his brows at the last statement. “Not normal?” He asked unbelieving Reggie would think like that. About him._ _

__Reggie lifted his head for the first time since they sat together and saw the hurt expression on Alex face, rearing back. “Oh, no, no not like that. I mean for a friendship. It’s not normal to feel like this … for a friend.” And there it was. He said it. It was out into the world._ _

__Alex was clearly relieved, it was just badly phrased, he knew he could count on Reggie. Said friend was looking at him, a fear lurking behind his eyes Alex last saw the night Reggie came to them into the garage drenched from the rain, but he knew. He knew _exactly _how Reggie felt right now. Taking one of his hands in his own, applying a reassuring pressure, he searched for the right words.___ _

____“So, you like a friend? A lot? And it’s not …. a girl?” He asked just to be sure they were on the same page and not talking past each other._ _ _ _

____“It’s not a girl. If it was, this wouldn’t be so hard. I kissed girls and never had to think so hard about it.”_ _ _ _

____“Thinking about kissing already? I see.” Alex was smirking and nudged Reggie’s shoulder, easing the tension a little bit._ _ _ _

____“Oh god Alex! No, I—Well maybe a little.” Reggie confessed with a slight blush. Not to distract but instead being truly curious he asked another question. “How long did it take you to realize you like boys?”_ _ _ _

____“A few years at least. I never liked any girl, so I should’ve come to the conclusion sooner, but as you said maybe I didn’t want to admit it at first. But it doesn’t matter how long it takes you, you can set your own pace.”_ _ _ _

____“Well I do like girls so I can confidently say I’m not gay, that’s what makes this so confusing. Like, what is going on? How can I like both? Shouldn’t there be only one option? I was fine with girls until now and then came-“ Breaking off the sentence, Reggie almost blurted out a name and he surely wasn’t ready for saying that out loud yet._ _ _ _

____Alex noticed the almost slip up and spoke up before any awkward silence could arise. “Unfortunately, I’m no omniscient guru, I don’t have all the answers. But you don’t have to settle for one or the other. I think there are more people like you out there, don’t worry.”_ _ _ _

____“What should I do about this friend? Nothing will ever happen between me and him. How do you get over someone?”_ _ _ _

____“You could ask him and when he says no, you can at least start the process of getting over him, but who knows maybe he says yes.”_ _ _ _

____Reggie scoffed at that. “Sure, and next you tell me that the platypus is real. When that happens, I might tell him, until then I will keep my mouth shut. Telling him would ruin everything.”_ _ _ _

____Alex had to bite his tongue really hard to not say anything and take Reggie by his shoulders to shake some sense into him. Existing platypus or not if Alex was nearly guessing right then Reggie had nothing to be afraid of, but he wasn’t 100% sure and wouldn’t dare to push Reggie to something he didn’t want._ _ _ _

____Said friend had dropped his head on Alex shoulder with a big sigh, strands of hair falling into his face, one of their hands was still interlocked._ _ _ _

____“Why does life have to be so difficult? Wasn’t one thing enough? No, whoever sits up there decides to throw another problem at me like ‘here, see how you can deal with that’ and then shoves this hot guy into my life, like he has no business to be this good looking, or be so talented. Life is unfair.”_ _ _ _

____Reggie throws his arms up in exasperation and Alex chuckled, knowing what Reggie was getting at._ _ _ _

____“Yep, beautiful boys will be the death of me. At least I can gossip about the football team with you know.”_ _ _ _

____Reggie couldn’t keep the laughter down, it wanted to be let out after those last minutes he was so afraid and tense. Alex was confused at first, what he said wasn’t that funny, right? But he didn’t complain when Reggie threw his arms around him and pulled him into a bone crushing hug, mumbling into his hoodie._ _ _ _

____“Thanks for letting me ramble.”_ _ _ _

____“Thank you for trusting me.”_ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____“What exactly are you doing Alex?” Luke asked from where he was sitting and tuning his guitar._ _ _ _

____Without interrupting his movements or even looking over to Luke Alex said, “I’m stretching?” like it was obvious._ _ _ _

____“That’s what you call stretching? Why are you doing it in the first place?”_ _ _ _

____“Mrs. Mintle talked about it in music class. Singers need to warm up before they start singing, piano players need finger exercises, and drummers need to stretch. You remember all the times I complained about my sore neck and cramped up arms? It was because I didn’t stretch beforehand.”_ _ _ _

____Luke was nodding along like it was most interesting thing he heard lately. “Interesting. But do you really need to shove your butt in my way?”_ _ _ _

____“Come on. I have a nice butt. I won’t mind if you look at it.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah, but I would mind when it starts hunting me in my dreams.”_ _ _ _

____“Do you often dream about other people butts?” Reggie then chimed in. Amused over the whole conversation._ _ _ _

____Bobby though was of the opinion this conversation should’ve ended right after it started. “Okay enough butt talk.” He said into the room, his own guitar in hand._ _ _ _

____Alex stopped his exercise to glare at Bobby across the room. “Do you have to phrase it like that? Now it’s weird.”_ _ _ _

____“It was already weird before you started talking about butts.” Bobby retorted calmly without looking up._ _ _ _

____“Okay, okay, can we just start playing?” Alex asked then going over to his drum set, which was placed on the back of the stage._ _ _ _

____“That’s what I wanted to do since before you started with this weird Yoga.” Always the dramatic Alex thought when Luke gave him a look._ _ _ _

____Bobby had enough of his children. “Guys!” He said out loud, finally attracting the attention of the other guys, who then all took their assigned places._ _ _ _

____They managed to book another gig and it was bigger than their previous ones, real stage where they didn’t have to be afraid to tumble over their cords, a real venue where people would come and pay to see them._ _ _ _

____The weeks before they played on the beach, announcing their concert to everyone who would stop for a second to listen. Alex made flyers they handed out in school, even though most of them were too young to be allowed in, the boys couldn’t fathom that they managed to convince the manager they should be allowed to play here but they did and know they stood on this very real stage, going through their short setlist and giving their best even though not a single person was watching them yet._ _ _ _

____The real performance was even better than their practice and the way the people cheered for them encouraged them to pour any ounce of energy they had in the way they played, sang, and bounced over the stage._ _ _ _

____The only time Reggie was fading out the audience was when he skipped over to Luke’s mic as they did in almost every song and they locked eyes to sing the chorus together, Reggie so entranced with how much passion Luke was singing to him. Or that’s what it felt like, because Luke was playing for the people in front of the stage not Reggie, but he couldn’t contain the big grin, reflecting the one Luke was shining his way._ _ _ _

____Meanwhile Alex had the perfect line of sight to see this scene play out and he was fairly sure he knew about whom Reggie talked about a few days prior. Only Bobby was too busy flirting with the girls in the front row to notice anything else around him._ _ _ _

____Going through their setlist, reaching their last song way quicker than they anticipated and not soon after they left the stage to catch their breathes backstage. It wasn’t a big venue, so they had no problems finding their room again, fetching something to drink and get out of their sweaty clothes._ _ _ _

____Reggie felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his middle and a face placed on his back where his shoulder blades were located. The only one shorter than him was Luke and the realization of who was clinging to him came so sudden he was almost stumbling over. When he remembered that Luke was currently not wearing a shirt and was only in his pants, which were way too tight for his own good, some not so innocent thoughts came creeping to the surface and Reggie had to calm himself to not just turn around and kiss the life out of Luke because holy shit a shirtless, not just a sleeveless, Luke was snuggling onto his back and the blush on his cheeks was threatening to go even lower and exposing him.  
Thank god he was turned to the wall. Was it always this hot in here? At least he hadn’t discarded his own shirt yet as a consequence from the heat of the stage. That would have possibly killed him on the spot. But it didn’t change anything from the position he found himself in. _ _ _ _

____“Luke?” Reggie asked then, when Luke showed no signs of letting go any time soon._ _ _ _

____“Hm?” Came the quit answer from behind him. “Oh, yes, sorry, I’m sweaty, I know. Sorry.” That wasn’t Reggie’s concern at all, seeing as he was just as sweaty after the concert, the stage beams shining on them for a whole hour, letting the stage feel as it was a summer day mid-august. When Luke let go, he even missed the feeling of Luke’s strong arms around him, but he should better think about something else or this could get real awkward real quick._ _ _ _

____“I’ll head to the front, see if the band after us is any good.” He announced to the group and slipped out the room, finding his way over to the bar, he was in need of something cold. A young woman came over to pick up his order and Reggie had to admit if he wasn’t currently crushing on Luke, she would be the one to hunt his thoughts._ _ _ _

____Her style was resembling his own, her torn black pants, white top and a jacket over it mirroring the outfit he was wearing right now. The pixie cut she was wearing let her appear cuter than she was emitting with her outfit, but her smudged eyeliner gave her an edge that was just overall fascinating._ _ _ _

____But not pondering over it any longer he just gave her his order and turned around to the stage. He had to admit the band was quiet good, but he was also not afraid to say that Sunset Curve was better.  
While Reggie was leaning at the bar, Bobby and Luke stood near the stage, observing the band up close, or more like Bobby was analysing the music and Luke was focusing on his friend at the other end of the room. He could see Reggie playing with the glass in front of him and talking with one of the bartenders and from where he stood, even he could see that she was good looking. And she was obviously interested in the way she let her head fall back while she laughed at something Reggie must have said and put her hand on his arm. _ _ _ _

____A slap to his own arm pulled him out of his thoughts. “Dude, who are you looking at? Seeing something nice?” A cheeky grin was placed on Bobby’s face at the prospect of playing wingman. But Luke was only shaking his head and hoping Bobby would drop it._ _ _ _

____“Is that Reggie?” Bobby asked instead, astonished that Reggie’s cheesy pick up lines seemed to work. “Wow, who would’ve thought he had it in him. Hey, are you good?” Seeing the dark expression on Luke’s face, his first thought was that Luke had laid his eyes on the bartender and was now outplayed by his bandmate, but then he saw something like betrayment and hurt shining in his eyes and the scene shifted before his eyes. “Wait, are you jealous?”_ _ _ _

____Luke who to this moment was purposely staring at the stage whipped his head around. “What??No!” But after a few seconds where he nibbled on his lip he said, “Maybe a little.” There was nothing to deny anyway, if it was this obvious that even Bobby picked up on it._ _ _ _

____But his friends mouth fell open at the confession, no way in hell did he think that Luke was actually jealous for Reggie, his accuse was more like a shot in the dark to get a reaction out of Luke, but now when he thought about it, it actually made sense. “You are?” A small laugh escaped his lips, but Luke was still in a bad mood. “Oh my god, bro, you have to do something, or Reggie is going home with a number tonight and even I can see that this girl is perfect for him.”_ _ _ _

____Luke was looking at him with wide open eyes, a frightened expression in them. “Are you crazy? There is no way I’ll say anything to him. Our friendship is too important.”_ _ _ _

____Bobby had the urge to smack him over the head. Reggie was clearly only flirting with the bartender because he had the same thought as Luke, that their friendship was too important to jeopardize over some feelings, but there was no way to explain that to Luke in a way he would believe him. “Just saying. Believe me you have a better chance then you think, but I can see that you’re not buying it. C’mon Alex is definitely waiting for us.”_ _ _ _

____With that he pulled Luke on his shirt to the entrance where they arranged to meet with Alex so they could all get a well-deserved snack. Even Reggie was already standing there, he must have moved from the bar when Bobby and Luke were holding their conversation._ _ _ _

____His cheeks were even redder than usual and for Luke that could only mean one thing. Reggie liked the attention he got from the bartender and was clearly infuriated with her. Great, he thought and crossed his arms before his chest, trying his best to not let his gaze linger any longer on his friend. Bobby instead had a small smile on his lips because Luke’s obvious jealousy was not to be overlooked, not that he liked Luke being hurt, but it was a bit amusing._ _ _ _

____Alex who didn’t know what happened the last 30 minutes looked back and forth between them, but as no one spoke up he informed them about his plans. “I saw a diner around the corner, and I feel like burgers tonight, what ya saying?” The rest agreed and they walked over to where Alex was leading them._ _ _ _

____Only after their got their orders was Luke slowly warming up again, joking with his friends and gleaming from the after – performance – happiness._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knows, maybe next time Reggie and Luke will have a talk and their relationship takes a pleasant turn?
> 
> Also 'Dorschgesicht' is german for codface, please don't ask why this was the first thing that came to my mind.


	5. Together is better than alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm still alive. I know it's been a month since my last update. I suffered from terrible writers block and was frustrated with everyhting I came up with. So I scratched what I wrote and came up with this chapter instead. Originally I had this and another chapter planned but decided to let the story end this way. All other ideas will be used for other fics.
> 
> Initially this was supposed to be a oneshot but it turned into this 5 chapter story and I'm grateful for everyone who read it, gave kudos, and commented.

When asked these days for the hundredth times why he was so absent, daydreaming during practice instead of history class, Reggie didn’t say _thinking and debating over my crush situation _because no one would have brought the overthinking part anyways. And because said crush would for the most part ask him this question, shortly followed by Alex, whom he could easily confess this, but not with person he was crushing on always being around.__

____

____

Not that it was something new the three of them were always around each other, Bobby told them they were dangerously co-dependent, but it became a problem when Reggie couldn’t help the blushing whenever Luke threw a compliment his way, whether it was for his bass playing, or his solos, or even when helping him with homework. Or when Reggie couldn’t help but stutter mid-sentence while in conversation with Bobby or Alex because Luke decided now was the appropriate time to change his tank. Reggie was so enamoured he was unaware of the amused smirks on Alex’ and Bobby’s faces whenever that happened. 

Both boys were reaching a point where they debated to just shove Luke and Reggie into a closet, locking the door and leaving them there until they admitted having kissed each other. After even Bobby realized Luke’s crush on Reggie two weeks ago at their concert, it didn’t take long for him to gossip with Alex about it after seeing the same knowing look in his eyes while watching Luke _and _Reggie dance around each other. They both came to the conclusion that nothing will ever happen without them intervening. Because both Luke and Reggie were of the opinion the other is straight and would never ever, not in a million years, reciprocate their feelings, ignoring the obvious glances and stares. Well, obvious for everyone but them.__

____

____

A plan was forming in Bobby and Alex heads, but they would give their friends another two weeks to get their shit together before stepping into action. Because if the plan blew up into their faces, they would be facing two hurt friends and that perspective was nothing they would ever want to experience. What was it what Luke always said? Two crying girls was worse than one crying girl? The same could easily be said about boys, or friends in general. So better not risk anything until the plan was 100% perfect without any chance of going wrong.

Their first draft had been Christmas themed, involving a mistletoe, seeing as the holiday was coming up, but was quickly thrown out the window for being too obvious and cliché. Since then they put their heads together whenever possible, even raising Luke’s suspicion, which was a wonder in itself because that boy’s head had been revolving around music more than ever, however that was possible, and using every second to perfect their songs for other gigs they apparently now had regularly. 

Reggie was using the tactic he always used, meaning ignoring everything, playing it down as being dumb and oblivious even though his friends discovered long ago that Reggie wasn’t always as dense as he pretended to be. 

But while Alex and Bobby followed the obvious pining with exasperated sighs, Reggie still thought that was just how Luke was. Overly friendly with no consideration of private space. Not once did he come to the realisation that Luke’s touchy feelings were turned up around him, most of the time having a hand somewhere on Reggie’s body, and cheek kisses were seemingly normal too nowadays. Only with Reggie though. 

It started on one of their study ‘dates’ the two were now holding once a week in Reggie’s room where he would try to teach Luke the ins and outs of math. Trying to be the keyword. As much as Luke was a musical genius, the same couldn’t be said about his academic abilities. That’s why when Reggie successfully taught him a new concept, Luke couldn’t help but plant a wet kiss on his cheek as a thank you, too weak in the moment to hold it in.

The second time happened in the studio. The four of them were all there, more or less practicing their instruments while Luke was hunched over the coffee table, working on a song. But he didn’t seem to make much progress as he was constantly crossing out words and getting gradually more frustrated, groaning when another idea wasn’t working the way he imagined. 

Reggie couldn’t concentrate on his bass any longer when Luke was working himself up to a frenzy. Slowly walking over to the couch to not startle Luke out of his concentrated head space, he sat down beside him and read through the words Luke had put on the paper. They weren’t as bad as Luke’s demeanour made them out to be. 

“Why don’t you use ‘raging’ instead of ‘flaming’“ Reggie proposed, pointing to a scribbled out spot. “It fits better with what you want to say.”

Luke’s eyes followed Reggie’s finger, reading over the line again before writing the word down, then reading over it multiple times to make sure it really fits. 

A big smile appeared on his face. Turning to Reggie he said, “Thank you, Reg! That’s exactly what I was searching for.” Before Reggie could utter another word, Luke’s hands were planted on each side of his face, drawing it towards him and a kiss found his way to his cheek. It was not the same as last time, Reggie noticed, unable to form any other thoughts while Luke was again captured in his song writing, completely unaware of Reggie’s inner turmoil. As if nothing happened just now.

The third time didn’t go as planned. 

After warding off Alex, who asked if he should keep him company a little longer, Reggie found himself alone in the studio. Practice was over as soon as Bobby was called into the house for dinner and Luke grumblingly realized he had to be home in 20 to help his mother out. Alex too was unhappy at the outlook of spending more time with his parents but contrary to Reggie’s, his parents still noticed when he missed curfew. Or rather cared enough to chastise him when he arrived too late. 

Knowing that all his friends were on his way home, Reggie finally let himself relax, plopping down onto the couch, putting his feet on the table. It was so exhausting to keep up the cheery demeanour, careful to not let anything slip. So hard to not just caress Luke’s cheek with a hand, or take his hand in his, pull him in for never-ending hugs, or for once put his lips on the others cheek. Only daydreaming about it, put a lopsided grin on his face and let a sigh come over his lips.

How was he able to follow along teacher’s speeches or normal conversations when Luke sat nearby, being so … so …. he couldn’t even put it in words. 

After putting his thoughts on another topic, Reggie got up to search through the little fridge for leftovers to heat up in the microwave the boys got when they realized practicing made them pretty hungry. Bobby’s mum couldn’t always serve them sandwiches or didn’t want to, four growing boys could eat much. 

Thank god they got Chinese yesterday, Reggie could feel his stomach beginning to grumble. Who knows what his mum would’ve made? He had no reason to find it out at an uncomfortable silent table. Damned be his mother’s wish to sit with them. He decided to spend the night here and go straight to school tomorrow, not risking running into his parents before they got to work. 

All the things he needed were packed into his bag he brought to practice that day and the boys instantly knew what it meant but they didn’t press it. They realized soon enough that Reggie wouldn’t lose a word about his problems if it wasn’t unbearable bad, which only happened once. Since then they could only pick up snippets of Reggie’s inner workings. 

Today was no different and Reggie was pleased to have the place to himself, the uncharacteristic silence foreign to his ears. The studio was mostly occupied by at least two members of the band and it could always get loud when one played their guitars or in Alex case the drums. 

So, Reggie reveled in it, only jumping slightly when the microwave beeped, indicating his food was hot. Or more like the container, Reggie frowned as he found the middle of the dish still cold. But he couldn’t do anything against it and shovelled the noodles into his mouth as fast as he could before the rest got cold too. 

Pulling out his homework next, he sat in front of the couch so he could lay his book on the coffee table, reading through the equations while absently nibbling on the skin of his thumb. Desperately trying not to get distracted without any other stimulation around him. When it was clearly not working and Reggie was slipping away into daydreams, he got up to turn on the radio that stood in one corner of the room. He couldn’t even remember who brought it in. 

But the music that was filing the room acted as a great background noise. It was some average station playing soft rock with some Queen in-between and Reggie found himself humming along while picking up his pencil again, ready to work on his tasks. He also needed to write an essay in English, but he didn’t even know where to begin, maybe he should ask Luke sometime this week, he was way better with metaphors than him. 

Captivated with his work he didn’t notice the time running away, the radio station playing song after song, Reggie still humming along, until he didn’t, and a gasp escaped him instead. Startled he turned his head to the door, that was thrown open the second before and Luke entered. 

Reggie couldn’t help but notice the strained muscles in Luke’s arm that weren’t covered as usual and the balled fists hanging on his side. Lifting his eyes, he saw his twisted face, resembling anger more than anything else. Bobby always said Luke had the puppy look perfected but right now nothing of it could be seen. A bad feeling crept up in Reggie as he took his friend in but at the same time, he wanted to ease whatever put Luke into such a state. 

Reggie heaved himself up from the carpet, homework forgotten, and took a step in Luke’s direction who still stood in the threshold and seemed unsure where to go from here. 

“Luke?” Reggie started carefully. He knew better than to startle an already angry person. 

Upon hearing his name, Luke lifted his gaze and looked straight into Reggie’s face, like he was only remembering now he wasn’t alone. 

“Uh, hi Reggie. Sorry, totally forgot you were staying here tonight.” His gaze softened instantly at the sight of his best friend, but his mood remained sour. 

But when he saw Reggie fiddling with his flannel. He tried to ease his expression, untightening his fists. 

Still standing on his spot Reggie eyed Luke, trying to find out what got him so high strung. Normally his energy flowed into his music making, pouring every ounce into plucking the strings of his guitar and carried over into his voice, maybe it wasn’t enough today. 

“Did something happen?” He asked then.

“That’s normally my line.” Luke replied from his spot.

“Yeah, well, today I’m asking you that. So?” He wouldn’t let Luke divert the attention, that was his thing. Luke was normally quick to express his annoyance over whatever matter at hand, not saying it out loud now only meant it had hit him deep. 

Luke let out a sigh then, tension leaving his body as he made his way over to the couch under Reggie’s gaze and let himself fall on it. Reggie mirrored his motion and plopped down beside him, head turned in his direction, looking at Luke’s profile and his tousled hair. 

“Were you even at home?”

Reggie must’ve asked the right thing because Luke let his gaze fall on the carpet shamefully. 

“So, that’s a yes. Will you now tell me what happened, or do I have to pull every detail out of your nose?” 

Luke picked up the forgotten pencil that lay on the table and played with it like Alex so often did with his sticks. “It was nothing unusual. I clashed with mum again and dad said nothing, only watched as mum slandered our band and I couldn’t take it. I’m just so sick of it.”

He took his head in his hands with his elbows propped up on his knees, keeping talking to the floor. 

“They’re my parents. I thought they should support me no matter what but instead they berate me while I’m trying to explain to them that the band will make it big one day and they shouldn’t worry so much. But they ignore everything I’m saying, sweeping it under the carpet as if we haven’t achieved anything yet. We have a tangible future; they just can’t see it and I don’t know how to show it to them. Why can’t they just be proud of what I accomplished?”

After he finished spilling his frustration out, he turned to look at Reggie, who had listened to him attentively up until the end. He didn’t dare to disrupt the rambling that was laced with irritation and bitterness that seemingly had piled up in Luke over the last weeks, but he couldn’t help but feel the hurt that shone in Luke’s eyes. Albeit he knew how it felt when parents didn’t care, he couldn’t imagine what it was like when loving parents stopped supporting you. 

“Come here.” Reggie only said, his arms already outstretched and pulled Luke in. He instantly sagged into his chest, with his arms slung around Reggie’s middle, holding on tight. Reggie wasn’t sure if Luke had started crying as he was always quit about it, no sobbing, no shaking. Complete opposite to Alex and Reggie. But when Luke pulled back for a moment, he couldn’t see any tears in Luke’s eyes. Luke just looked done with the world for today and Reggie couldn’t hold it against him.

Reggie wanted to offer to lay down as it would be more comfortable without their knees bumping together but Luke was clatching at him again, this time nestling his head in his crook between neck and shoulder, his nose pressed against the skin of his throat and Reggie had to repress a shiver. He could feel the air whenever Luke was breathing out and it tickled at the base of his neck. 

It didn’t bother him that Luke was still holding on tight, quite the contrary, he could never get enough hugs from Luke, feeling the warmth spread from Luke over to him, who was cold most of the time. 

A hand found his way into Luke’s hair and he could hear a sigh leave the boy’s lips, so he threaded his hand repetitively through it in hopes of calming Luke down. It was hard at times to bring Luke down from a high, especially after gigs but also when he was frustrated or angry with someone. 

But Reggie didn’t know what to say that would help in this situation. “I’m sorry about your parents. I wish they understood. But Alex, Bobby, and me, we will always have your back no matter what, okay?” Was all that came to his mind and he hoped it was enough. He was never one being good with words.

Pulling Luke back with his hands at his shoulder, he looked him straight in his eyes to convey his earnestness and watching out for any hint that Luke didn’t believe him. But it seemed to work as a small tentative smile worked his way on Luke’s face and Reggie smiled right back, happy to see his friend brighten up. 

“Let me put my stuff away and we can pull out the couch.” Reggie proposed and turned his attention to his homework and book again and began collecting it all together not noticing that Luke was still watching him from his right side. 

“Hey Reggie?” Luke asked then.

“Yeah?” Reggie replied, his gaze still on the table.

“Thank you.” Luke said softly and laid a hand on Reggie’s knee before leaning in and was so close to his cheek but at the same time Reggie wanted to ask for what he thanked him and turned his head just slightly to look at Luke, but before he could ask he felt a pair of lips on the corner of his mouth. They were quickly gone though and just a faint feeling lingered before Reggie’s brain caught up with the situation.

“I – uhm – sorry, I didn’t know … oh god.” Reggie stuttered out, embarrassed over tricking Luke into almost kissing him. Well, he wasn’t actively tricking him, but Luke couldn’t know that. He must think Reggie did it on purpose. Oh my god, now he knew what Reggie thought and felt about him, he fucked up.

“- gie! Reggie!” Pulled him out of his spiralling thoughts and he saw Luke’s face before him. “You were zoned out for a bit. Are you alright? I swear I’m not mad if that is what you were worrying about.” Luke’s hand was still on his knee, heat surpassing the fabric of his pants. 

Glad that Luke gave him an out he clang to that lifeline and tried to get his face under control. There sure as hell were red blotches on his cheeks, always visible on his pale skin. “Oh okay, yeah good. Then let’s just pretend it never happened and I will take my stuff and go over there and, yep I will just do that.” 

Quick to get up, he almost shot out of his seat, desperately needing space between them so he could breath again. Luke’s lips had been so close to his own, just one inch to the right and they would’ve shared a real kiss, like he wished for almost every day now. But now, when it almost happened, he couldn’t get his heartrate under control and he was sure a real kiss would just embarrass himself furthermore. 

Although his back was turned to Luke, he could hear him getting up and then he could feel a hand winding his fingers with his own. His eyes found they intertwined hands and when he lifted his gaze, he saw Luke staring at the same spot.

“Luke? You know you have to let me go so I can stow away my stuff?” Reggie joked in hopes of overplaying his confusion and the hotness that overcame him again. But when Luke lifted his eyes too, he couldn’t find any humour in them.

“I don’t want to let you go.” Luke whispered as if it was a secret that was only to be shared between them and no one else. “Reggie, hear me out okay? I really don’t mind what happened, because … because I wanted to do that for a while now. Kissing you, and I mean not just on the cheek. The last weeks I thought I was going crazy around you because you’re so amazing and I couldn’t help but fall a little bit in love with you.” A light chuckle came out of Luke. “A bit more than a little actually. Reggie you have no idea what you mean to me, I have no idea how anyone could not love you. I sure as hell do and that you don’t feel the same is okay and if me kissing you weirds you out then I will stop. I’m sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable. I just couldn’t help myself.”

For a minute or two Reggie was for a loss for words, which didn’t happen often, and Luke must’ve interpreted it as a kind of rejection and started withdrawing his hand, but at the last moment Reggie held on tight, not ready to lose this connection.

“I’m – oh Luke. You could never make me uncomfortable. I feel the safest around you, you and the guys are my home. You’re awesome too you know?” Reggie smiled and Luke let out a small laugh but was clearly still tense. “And I _loved _when you kissed me on the cheek. Or whenever you touched me. Oh my god that sounds so wrong. But I hope you know what I mean. I just didn’t say anything because I thought _you _weren’t into me.”____

_____ _

_____ _

Luke was stunned for a second. “So, that means we’re both stupid?” He asked.

Reggie nodded slowly. “Clearly.” 

Luke seemed to debate over something before speaking again. “Does that mean I can kiss you for real now?”

The heat came spreading back in Reggie’s face, but he couldn’t care less right now, not when he was so close to getting what he dreamed about the last weeks. Letting his free hand wander over Luke’s bare arm until he reached the shoulder, he noticed with satisfaction how goose bumps appeared on the skin. Luke’s hand in the meanwhile found his way into the hair at the base of Reggie’s neck, using the position to pull Reggie in closer, stopping only once when they were already nose to nose to gaze into his eyes for confirmation before their lips finally met. 

Movies couldn’t convey how Reggie was feeling right now. Nothing his imagination came up with in the past was as good at this. The satisfied sigh that left him was instantly swallowed by Luke. The hand in his hair seemed to pull him even closer, closing the last space that remained between them. Luke wasn’t as rough as he imagined he would be, instead moving his lips slowly but with intention. 

Reggie didn’t want this to end and held on tighter, kissing Luke firmer, conveying his every feeling into the kiss. 

It was Luke who finally pulled back gasping for air. “I wish I didn’t need to breath because I want to do this for the rest of my life.” He said once enough air had filled his lungs.

Reggie grinned at him. “Me too. We would have it easier as ghosts. But we can keep going if you want?”

He didn’t have to ask twice as Luke’s lips were instantly on him and Reggie smiled into the kiss, feeling Luke do the same. He was so happy in that moment, a giddiness flooded his every cell, the kiss becoming more intense and he let his tongue gaze over Luke’s lower lip in a moment of boldness. Reggie’s knees grew week when Luke took over the control, his entire focus on the way Luke’s lips were moving against him. 

Slowing down again, Luke moved his hand from Reggie’s hair onto his cheek, caressing him with a fond smile. 

“We should really pull out the couch before we get too distracted.” He mused, chuckling at the dreamy expression in Reggie’s eyes. 

“Yeah we should really do that.” Reggie agreed and gave Luke one last kiss before resuming the task he never finished. 

The radio was still faintly playing songs in the background and Reggie found himself humming along as his head lay on Luke's chest, more than content with his life as it was right now.

-

When Luke and Reggie found themselves under a mistletoe without any idea who might’ve hung it up for a Christmas get together of four people, they didn’t miss a beat before leaning in and started kissing, Luke’s hand on Reggie’s cheek to bring him closer. But they didn’t want to get too passionate while spectators lingered by. Bobby and Alex were so perplexed at first, not a word was spoken, not even Alex was letting out a sarcastic comment, to stunned at the sight before him. 

Bobby was the first one to come out of his stupor. “Guess we don’t need to lock you up in the closet after all.” Bobby smirked while Luke and Reggie gasped simultaneously and let out an aghast _what?? _. Alex was only snickering in the background.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me now how you liked the fic. You can also find me on tumblr under my username chaoslaura. I take prompts as well.


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